


I Remember

by kylarossfiercefive



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: A drabble a day, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-24 12:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylarossfiercefive/pseuds/kylarossfiercefive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh Sehun remembers every detail of his relationship with Lu Han.</p><p>Based on the "a drabble a day" prompt.<br/>____________________</p><p>"It isn’t hard for Oh Sehun to remember the first day he met Lu Han. Now is when his life truly begins."</p><p>____________________</p><p>Cross posted on AFF at jongddaes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning.

Beginning.

It isn’t hard for Oh Sehun to remember the first day he met Lu Han.

It is cloudy outside; there isn’t any rain falling yet, but there are sure signs of it. The whole day seems to spell out “gray” for Sehun. SM Entertainment has finally told him that he would be a member in a boyband called EXO and there would be twelve members in total. After his three odd years working devastatingly hard, he’s finally made it. But the moment was very anticlimactic. Sehun thanked the managers, the CEO, and everyone else there. Then he left to go settle in his new dorm room. No rush of tears or screaming like he thought would happen.

Now is when his life truly begins.

Sehun drags his suitcase, pillows, and blankets through the hallway and into the doorway of his room, his new home. At first, he only looks at the ground to make sure he won’t fall on anything as he walks in. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself within five minutes of arriving in the dorm. When he looks up, he sees this beautiful boy standing in front of him. The boy has dark hair that reaches just to the bottom of his chin. Sehun’s eyes meet the boy’s and Sehun feels like he’s seeing a whole different world open up in front of him.

“Hi! I’m Lu Han,” the boy, Lu Han, says. “Nice to meet you. Who are you? I mean, what’s your name? My Korean is not the best since I used to live in China,” he admits. Sehun immediately loves the smooth flow Lu Han’s voice has.

Sehun tries to maneuver around Lu Han to put his things down. “Oh, sorry about blocking your way,” Lu Han says, scratching the back of his head with his right hand. Sehun finally puts his pillows and blanket on his bed and throws suitcase under the bed. He sneaks another look at Lu Han. He’s definitely attractive, Sehun admits to himself. No wonder SM chose him for the new boyband.

“No, it’s fine,” Sehun replies. “Don’t worry about it.” He tries to speak slowly, but his heart is racing. He doesn’t want to be cold and standoffish to his new band mate. It’s in his nature to be awkward and unpleasant; however, he wants to make a good impression on Lu Han for some reason. “I’m Oh Sehun. You can call me Sehun, I guess.” Sehun scolds himself in his head. How could he be so aloof already?

Lu Han nods with a smile still stuck on his face. It looks perfect on him. “Sehun? That’s a very nice name.”

Sehun arranges his pillows and blankets in a somewhat orderly fashion to distract himself from being too awkward. “Uh… thanks. Your name is nice too. Lu Han. It rolls off the tongue nicely.” Lu Han starts to laugh and Sehun thinks that no other noise could sound as pleasant and soothing as Lu Han’s laugh.

“Are you always this awkward with people?” Lu Han asks with that stupid smile still on his face. Sehun wants to rub it off because it’s just too attractive to handle. He steps away from his bed and admires his handiwork for a moment before answering.

Sehun nervously chuckles. “Yeah, I think I am. Lots of people tell me that. I need to get to know someone before I really open up.” He tugs on his dark brown hair and bites his lip. He knows he’s already ruined Lu Han’s first impression of him. It’s too late to turn the clock back and change everything about this day.

Lu Han inches closer to Sehun. “Have I talked to you before?” He cocks his head over to the left to get a better image of Sehun’s face. SM has a large number of trainees and Sehun sure doesn’t know everyone in the company. He doesn’t speak much with anyone except for Jongin, a great dancer who was born the same year as him. And Sehun has no idea if Jongin will be joining EXO. He hopes he will.

Sehun shrugs. “I wouldn’t know, to be honest.”

“That’s true,” Lu Han says and laughs that laugh that strikes a chord in Sehun’s heart. This time, Sehun laughs along with him. “There’s so many trainees that I have never talked to. I think I’ve spoken with our roommate, Kyungsoo, a couple of times. But you’re right, I’d never know.”

With that statement, Sehun is reminded of all the introductions he’ll have to make sooner or later. Of course there has to be twelve band members, most, if not all, of whom he doesn’t know at all. He sighs and takes a seat on his bed. Lu Han doesn’t move from his spot. Instead, he keeps looking at Sehun. Sehun wants to say something like, “What are you looking at?”, but he’ll probably just end up scaring Lu Han away. He wants Lu Han to stay.

Lu Han walks over to the small window and looks outside at the dreary weather. Sehun sighs. Lu Han turns around to stare at Sehun again. “Hmm. Well, it doesn’t appear like the sun will come out today.”

“Yeah.”

All of a sudden, Lu Han grabs Sehun’s hand. Sehun flinches at the warmth emitting from Lu Han’s body. Their eyes meet again and Sehun feels like his heart has stopped. “Let’s go out and do something. I really dislike being cooped up inside because of the weather.” Sehun’s mouth hangs open a little bit out of shock.

“What do you want to do?” Sehun manages to say.

Lu Han thinks for a moment and comes up with an idea a minute later. “Do you like bubble tea?” Sehun’s amazed at how Lu Han guessed his favorite beverage.

“It’s my favorite,” Sehun declares.

He struggles, but Lu Han successfully pulls Sehun up from off the bed. “Then let’s go drink some bubble tea together. Just the two of us.”

Sehun thinks he’s living in some fantasy world or alternate reality. There’s no way he can be blessed with such a friendly and lovely band mate. But he’ll accept it for as long as he can.


	2. Accusation.

Accusation.

“You look too much like me,” Sehun moans as they arrive back in their dorm room after a long day of practicing. Kyungsoo is in the shower, leaving Sehun and Lu Han in the room by themselves. Sehun never noticed it that much until recently, just as the twelve boys made their first comeback ever. It isn’t that big of a complaint in Sehun’s mind; he doesn’t mind having his looks compared to Lu Han’s, the flowery boy, all too often. But Sehun isn’t Lu Han and he wants the world to know that.

Lu Han turns away from his bed and takes a moment to carefully study Sehun’s features. Sehun tries not to fidget under Lu Han’s eyes. Lu Han laughs after a while. “You don’t look anything like me. Who told you so?”

Sehun sits on his bed and runs his right hand through his recently dyed hair. Lu Han quickly joins him. “Joonmyun called me Lu Han today at practice after I messed up a dance move.”

“You messed up a dance move?”

“Oh, be quiet.”

Lu Han ruffles Sehun’s hair. “I’m kidding. But really, that was only one time. Joonmyun calling you by my name was only a one time thing, right?” Sehun doesn’t reply and Lu Han doesn’t keep talking to fill the silence.

Zhang Yixing walks in the room and sees the two of them on the bed looking glum. Neither of them look at Yixing. “Oh, hey. Am I interrupting?” His eyebrows furrow and he attempts to understand what’s going on between them. “Am I?”

“They’re just having a lover’s spat,” Chanyeol says loudly enough for Sehun and Lu Han to hear from the hallway. Yixing stifles a laugh under the palm of his hand.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun yells at Chanyeol from their bedroom. Yixing sneaks a peek at them once more and tiptoes out of the room, closing the door behind him. Silence fills the room. Lu Han has no idea what to tell Sehun. He never thought that they looked alike at all. Maybe it was the hair color and similar height. Or maybe it was because they were always together as Lu Han and Sehun or vice versa. He sighs.

Sehun finally speaks up because he desires to have this conversation over with before Kyungsoo comes back in. “If you need more evidence, Zitao and Yifan both called me Lu Han yesterday after I spent too long in the shower.” Lu Han sighs again. He just doesn’t understand why Sehun’s making a big deal out of this.

“Why do you care so much?” Lu Han asks. It comes out harsher that he would like.

“Because,” Sehun starts and stops. “Because… It’s because I want to be known as Oh Sehun, not as Lu Han. I’m the maknae of EXO and I’m not you. My personality isn’t like yours and your voice is like an angel’s when mine isn’t. Yeah, I have my strengths too, but they aren’t ours. And most importantly, I want to be the person that receives your love, not the person who gives it.”

Lu Han kisses Sehun on the cheek and says, “You are. Don’t you know that already? I thought I didn’t make it hard to see.”

Sehun’s face burns red. “Yes, but I don’t want to be you. So how do I change in order to differentiate between us?”

Lu Han says the first thing that comes to mind. “Change your hair color.” Sehun stares at him with one of his eyes squinted. “No, seriously, change it. Our hair colors are so similar and that might be why we’re mistaken often. Get a really bright color and no one will be able to say ‘that’s Lu Han’ because the hair color is radically different.”

“That’s a great idea. I’ll get a really bright color. Thanks, Lu Han,” Sehun says as he hugs Lu Han. Sehun takes comfort in Lu Han’s body warmth and they don’t let go of each other until Kyungsoo walks in the room with his hair dripping all over the floor.

Sehun has no idea why he’s so lucky to have eleven other best friends and band members with him. He’s been wondering lately what would’ve happened if he hadn’t taken the name card from the lady all those years ago. But he wouldn’t trade moments like this for the world.


	3. Restless.

Restless.

Lu Han tosses to one side of his bed and turns to another within one minute. He can’t sleep and he’s known he wouldn’t be able to for a long time. Tomorrow is one of those days you wish would come and wish it wouldn’t all at the same time. He’s been waiting for this day all his life. His parents weren’t pleased with his choice to become an idol. In fact, they still aren’t happy with it. But it’s too late for Lu Han to switch back into his old life as a student in South Korea. He’s gone too far to turn back.

After an hour of tossing and turning, Lu Han sits up on his bed with his right hand fingering his messy hair and his left hand propping himself up. Tomorrow’s the day when their debut single and music video will be released and soon afterwards, their debut showcase. Everything he’s worked for these past four years or so have culminated into this. And he can’t wait for all the opportunities he’ll have that will come in the future. He’ll try to get some sleep later, but for now, he quietly walks out of the dorm room and into their living room area. Lu Han sits on the windowsill and looks outside into the darkness, into the dark world in front of him. He tilts his head towards the stars.

He doesn’t keep track of time; he doesn’t know how long he sits for. But Lu Han hears footsteps coming down the hallway. He keeps his eyes on the twinkling stars.

Whoever comes in joins him on the windowsill and carefully looks at Lu Han. “Why aren’t you asleep, hyung?” Lu Han knows this voice all too well. “Tomorrow’s the big day. The day that we have to do our best, better than we’ve ever done before.”

Lu Han finally looks away from the stars and stares at his bandmate. “Sehun, I’m really nervous. What if I mess up or something goes terribly wrong?”

Sehun places a hand on Lu Han’s shoulder. There aren’t any lights on, but Lu Han can still see Sehun’s eyes shining in the night. “Nothing of the sort will happen. I promise. Just do what you do in practice and pretend no one’s watching.”

“At that rate, I’ll mess up and look like an idiot.” The two of them laugh at that for a moment until Lu Han turns back to the window and the stars full of wonder and hope. He wouldn’t trade his job for the world, but he’s nervous. He’s never done anything of this caliber before. He wants the day to come and go with ease. To break the silence, Lu Han asks, “Why are you awake anyway, Sehun?”

Sehun hands Lu Han a bag of carrots. “Want some? I was kind of hungry… so I got some carrots.” Lu Han shakes his head “no”. He’d usually find the situation humorous, but not tonight. “You should eat some, hyung.”

“No, I don’t want any.”

They sit in almost absolute silence, save Sehun’s jaw noises and teeth grinding because of the carrots. Lu Han likes this silence; it’s hard to have quiet time when all the members are around. Especially Baekhyun and Chanyeol, the inseparable pair.

“Well, I’m going to sleep, Lu Han. You need to get some rest too. Otherwise, you’ll make a mistake at the showcase for sure,” Sehun says. He grabs Lu Han’s hand and drags him to their dorm room. Kyungsoo is sleeping soundly in his bed. Sehun helps Lu Han into his bed and tucks him in. “Good night, hyung.”

“Good night, Sehun.” Sehun leans down and kisses Lu Han on the cheek and walks over to his bed.

Lu Han does fall asleep with his face slightly pink and a smile stuck on his face.


	4. Snowflake.

Snowflake.

Sehun steps out of the shower with his hands wrapped around towel, trying to dry his hair. The news station said it was supposed to snow today and he doesn’t want to get sick. He enters into the kitchen, hoping for a delicious breakfast. Lu Han is speaking eagerly and quickly. “I love snow! I can’t wait to see a powdery white substance cover the city. It’s new, it’s clean, and it’s a sign of rebirth. We’re going to make our comeback soon, see? Everything fits so perfectly.” Yifan and Yixing are looking at him as if he’s an idiot. “I’m serious!”

“Snow is nice,” Yixing says in his soft voice. Sehun rolls his eyes. Snow has always been the bane of Sehun’s existence. He’s always late to school when it snows and his mother makes him clean out all the snow from the road they live on. Not to mention as a trainee, the snow meant another year had gone by and he still wouldn’t be debuting any time soon.

The rest of the EXO members gather one by one into the kitchen and eat their breakfast. Jongin and Kyungsoo are having a mini taste test to see who is the better cook. Sehun doesn’t butt in, but he knows Kyungsoo will always win. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are teasing Jongdae about something he said late last night. None of the members seem to be particularly fazed by the snowy weather report.

Today, they’re recording one of the songs on the album that was featured in a teaser a while back, before they debuted. Sehun doesn’t have many lines on this song, but he rarely ever has lines that are even worth mentioning. So most of the time, he fiddles on his phone and reads magazines while the others are singing and rapping.

It seems like they’ve spent eternity in the recording studio when Lu Han approaches him and asks, “Sehun, want to go get bubble tea with me? I’m not recording for another two hours or so. Please.”

Sehun puts down his sports magazine and reaches out for Lu Han’s hands so he can be pulled up. “Yeah, I’ll go with you, hyung. There’s not much for me to do here anyway, I suppose.” Lu Han smiles that smile that makes Sehun have butterflies in his stomach and they depart together without anyone making a fuss.

They don’t talk on the way there. Sehun has nothing to say and Lu Han admires the scenery as they walk. The sky is overcast and in his heart, Sehun knows it’ll snow sometime today or tonight. Neither of them talk when they walk in the bubble tea shop. Lu Han orders a chocolate-flavored bubble tea, while Sehun orders taro-flavored. The day is so ordinary, so monotonous, until Lu Han says, “Let’s go sit outside.”

Sehun shivers at the thought of it. “It’s so cold outside though. And, it’s going to snow soon. Who wants to be outside for that?”

“I do. Please,” Lu Han whines in Sehun’s ear.

“Ok, fine, let’s go outside then.” Sehun really, really doesn’t want to brace the cold that will bite his ears and make his nose puffy and red. He’d rather sit at the dorms with his bubble tea and have Minseok try to take a sip from it than be outside for the snow.

They sit at a table for two with Lu Han facing Sehun. Silence looms in the air except for Sehun’s loud sucking noises from the straw. There’s hardly anyone on the roads and Sehun desires to point this out to Lu Han, to show him that, hey, there’s no one outside and no one wants to be out for the snow.

“You’re beautiful, did you know that?” Lu Han tells Sehun without looking at him. Lu Han’s sparkling eyes are pointed downward at the table. Sehun immediately stops drinking and faintly blushes. “Because you are beautiful.”

Sehun is at a loss for words. “Uh… I didn’t know. Um, I mean, well, fans tell me it often, but yeah… no, I’m not. Not when there’s someone as beautiful as you.” There. He’s said it. He’s said what’s been on his mind for a long time and Sehun feels a weight being lifted off his chest.

“You are beautiful, Sehun. And I think we’re equally beautiful.” Lu Han reaches for Sehun’s hand and Sehun warms up with the electric love Lu Han provides.

A snowflake falls from the sky and lands on Lu Han’s nose. Sehun’s eyes divert from Lu Han to the sky for a moment, and then back to Lu Han.

When more snowflakes fall, Sehun kisses Lu Han’s nose and feels the cold of the snowflake to the warmth of two people happy to be together.


	5. Haze.

Haze.

Sehun hears an alarm blaring, but just covers his face with a pillow. Last night was an extremely long night, to say the least. It didn’t help that they had an early schedule today and early times for the rest of the week. No rest for the faithful, he thinks as he rolls away from the sound and tries to pretend he isn’t awake. Then he feels someone shaking him.

“Mmmph,” Sehun groans. The shaking doesn’t stop. “Go away. I’m trying to get some sleep. Please, hyung.” His eyes don’t open as the shaking grows in intensity.

Lu Han releases Sehun for a moment before proceeding to shake him awake again. “You have to get up! We have a schedule today. Even Jongin is awake!” Sehun hears muffled shouts coming from another room. “Can’t you hear him?”

Sehun tries to move away from Lu Han’s arms. He thinks about what happened last night, but it’s mainly all a blur. “Lu Han, what even happened last night?”

“If I tell you, will you wake up?”

Sehun groans again, but he nods. Lu Han helps him sit up. Kyungsoo, still in the dorm room, is combing his hair and eyeing the pair carefully. “There was a company dinner last night, remember? Jongdae suggested we all partake in alcoholic beverages, so we all had some. Baekhyun turned red after his first drink and Zitao couldn’t stop laughing at Chanyeol’s terrible dance moves. Jongdae still doesn’t know his drinking limit and you probably drank a little too much last night. That’s it, really.”

Kyungsoo adds, “Oh, and Chanyeol and Minseok danced for hours. Remember, hyung?” Lu Han helps Sehun stand up.

“Yeah.”

Sehun rubs his eyes. “How come I don’t remember much about it? It’s like I’m in a haze or something weird like that.” Lu Han pats the top of Sehun’s head. Kyungsoo runs out of the room when Joonmyun calls his name.

“You probably had too much to drink,” Lu Han says. “Next time, try to drink a little less. But don’t worry, you weren’t very embarrassing. Trust me. Now, go get ready because we have to perform today. No one needs to know about your wild night.”

“It was wild?” Sehun exclaims, immediately stopping his walking to ask.

Lu Han laughs. “Oh no, it wasn’t. Not at all. You think the twelve of us could honestly get wild?” Sehun laughs along with him. “Seriously though, go get ready. I want my baby to look nice today.”

“I’m not your baby,” Sehun mutters as he slowly trudges to the bathroom.

“Right. Of course not.”


	6. Flame.

Flame.

Lu Han smells something burning. He can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from or what it is, but something’s definitely burning. He reaches over to Minseok, on the other seat on the couch. “Minseok, what’s that burning smell?”

Minseok sniffs with his nose and shrugs. “I have no clue. Is the laundry machine on fire? Or is someone cooking?”

With that, Lu Han hears Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Jongdae complaining about the putrid smell and Joonmyun walks into their small living space to investigate. All of a sudden, a pan crashes onto the floor and they hear someone cursing. Minseok rolls his eyes and returns to the television show he was watching earlier. Lu Han stands up and walks over to the kitchen. Kyungsoo would never cook in between meals for anyone. “Hey. Who’s in the kitchen?”

Lu Han sees smoke coming from the stovetop and lets out a squawk before grabbing the fire extinguisher and letting the liquid mixture put out the flames. He begins to cough. “Why didn’t you get the fire extinguisher?” he asks to no one in particular.

“I didn’t think it was burning,” Sehun sniffs. “I have a cold so I can’t smell. Then I dropped this pan and the flames got bigger and bigger. I’m sorry. I should leaving cooking to the hyungs.” Sehun’s face falls and he looks at the ground. “Anyway, I’ll help you clean up, Lu Han hyung.” Sehun reaches for a towel and starts to mop up the excess water.

Lu Han grabs the towel and throws it over his shoulder. “No, it’s fine, Sehun. I’ll cook for you. What were you trying to make?”

“Uh… just some ramen,” Sehun admits. His eyes don’t meet Lu Han’s. “It’s silly. Don’t bother. I’ll wait for dinner.”

Shaking his head, Lu Han grabs a package of instant ramen and puts it in the microwave. “Maybe it’s better if you just use the microwave, yeah?” Sehun nods, not saying a word. The microwave’s loud noises speak for him. The ramen is quickly cooked and Lu Han takes it out, washes chopsticks, and hands it to Sehun. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks,” Sehun mutters.

With the blink of an eye, Lu Han kisses Sehun on the cheek. “Get better, Sehun. I want to kiss you on the lips without wondering if I’ll get sick.”

“Do it.”

“Will you make ramen for me when I’m sick?”

Sehun pretends to ponder over this. “Do you want me to almost burn down the dorm again?”

Lu Han kisses Sehun, taking his breath away. Their lips press together and Sehun doesn’t want to let go. Lu Han leans in to whisper in Sehun’s ear, “You’ll be almost burning it down for me.”


	7. Formal.

Formal.

“Does this color tie set my figure off?” Jongdae asks the members gathered in the bathroom. Not all of them are in there at once, but a good number are in there. A company dinner is an event EXO has to attend and even worse, in Sehun’s eyes, the dinner is a formal one. Hair spray is in the air and a random assortment of beauty products are lying on the floor.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t,” he says just to annoy his fellow member.

“Are you serious? But you guys took all the other ties! And you won’t ever catch me wearing a rainbow-colored tie, because I found that in someone’s drawer…”

“Shut up, hyung,” Sehun mutters under his breath. Jongdae doesn’t hear him; he keeps going on and on about how none of them have any fashion sense and the only reason any of them look halfway decent is because of the coordi noonas. Sehun silently agrees with him. The other members go on ignoring Jongdae’s rant.

Sehun attempts to use a comb to give his hair more volume, but he fails. He wants to look good because, well, he’s Oh Sehun and when doesn’t he not look good? After a few minutes, he gives up and pushes the comb into Jongin’s hands.

“Hey, what’s this for?” Sehun hears as he leaves the bathroom and goes to his dorm room to get away from all the preparation. He desires time to himself, time to think and breathe before a long party starts. 

On his bed, Sehun loosens his tie and sighs; his back leans against the wall. He honestly didn’t ask for this. He just wants someone to help him get ready for a company dinner where appearance is everything. Sehun wishes he could be above it all, above idol life, and above rankings and popularity. But he’s honestly not above anything.

He closes his eyes.

Sehun hears footsteps in the dorm room a few minutes later. “Sehun? Are you in here?” Sehun groans. The last person Sehun wants to see when he’s in this mental mess is Lu Han.

Lu Han sits right next to Sehun on the bed. Sehun slightly opens one of his eyes because he can’t resist seeing Lu Han in a suit and tie. “Let’s go. Joonmyun wants to make a good impression so we have to go early.” Sehun doesn’t budge. “Sehun, please…” Lu Han inches closer. “You do look attractive in that suit. If you ask me.”

With that, Sehun stands right up. “Let’s go.”

“Why are you so excited all of a sudden?”

Sehun stops when Lu Han finishes his sentence. “I’m not wasting any time I have with you, especially when you look like this.”


End file.
